Umbrellas, Mobile Phones, and, Yes, People Wind Up in Lost & Found

 I travel a lot so it had been reassuring that major transportation hubs such as the Port of Authority have a Lost & Found unit. That brings hope that if I leave an umbrella or even (horror) a cellphone behind it might have been carted off to that department.

But it wasn't until I began conducting Tarot readings that I realized that human beings also wind up in Lost & Found. With so much current financial and social disruption, more people drift into being lost. The old moorings have rotted. We feel wobbly. We doubt if we will ever be centered again. And, you bet, we are scared.

Most often the Tarot card which comes up in that kind of reading is the Hierophant.  The card's message is about restoring an identity that is social - that is, a shared one. Again, the person belongs. The connection might have been broken through a layoff, a career shift, a divorce, being ghosted, or even a relocation across town or states. The journey to a new kind of belonging is the rite of passage to the next. 

As we all know from how challenging the rite of passages had been going to college, then graduating from college, the journey can be emotionally, physically, and spiritually brutal. When fully an adult, it should be easier, right. Well, it isn't. That's because the challenges are new. We had never lost a six-figure job before, had we. Our first wife couldn't afford the brandname lawyer the second one can. Retiring in Alabama, even by the water, sure doesn't feel a bit like Manhattan. 

Yet, we assume we should have learned along the way to cope with transitions. After all, back in our youth we did adjust to going to work. We did adjust to doing what it takes to keep a relationship growing. We did adjust to taking on the financial responsibilities of a mortgage.  

The first step in this new kind of journey is what the Tarot is all about. As The New York Times detailed in an April 2021 feature, the Tarot is a tool for self-awareness. In a society which pushes the focus on externals the Tarot pulls us inward. At age 30, 40, 50, 60 or into our 90s we recognize that we have to do that inner work. Poet W.B. Yeats put it this way: 

"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold ..."

In a sense, requesting a Tarot reading is "asking permission" to invest yourself in just-in-time introspection. Not too many folks out there encourage your ducking out of the frantic pace of this maddening capitalistic world.

Think about this: What was atypical in an interview with Bloomberg Law, the chairperson of elite law firm Paul Weiss Brad Karp noted that the firm was "making" the junior lawyers take their vacations. The gunner ethos of the 21st century is ceaseless work. Reflecting on an inner life? No peeks allowed. Concentrate one-dimensionally on productivity. 

The next step - and it's even more difficult - is to relax. If you understand how important that is, you will allow the tension to seep out. Otherwise you can't touch the pains of dislocation. Those have to heal.

During the 2022 Christmas season, it had been cognitive behavioral therapist Amy Karnilowicz (practice in West Hartford, Connecticut) who had to tell me this: I couldn't ignore mourning the end of my career path in communications. Yes, even Tarot readers become lost. After turning over in my head and heart what Karnilowicz observed, I was no longer wound so tight. The pain could get through. 

Step three is willingness to exit our comfort zones, that is, what has become routine, thus providing a feeling of safety. However, it's hardening like cement. We are increasingly stuck.

Usually the only effective way to do that is slowly. Here, for example, is the article I published on what an ordeal - but a necessary process - career change is. Leaping into a "new" relationship usually results in replicating the ones which hadn't panned out. Beware how unhinging a geographical move can be. 

Takeaway: In this never-normal-again time in history, getting (very) lost is becoming a standard rite of passage. 

Tarot Card Reader. Medium. Intuitive Career Coach.

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