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Mental Illness & Openness: Dial It Back

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I put it to clients this way: "Suppose you've been injured in car accident. You want the best lawyer around. Would you hire the one who's open about their clinical depression? I bet you'd wonder if they could lapse into an episode when representing you ..." That client, naive I've concluded, has been too open about their mental illness. It's a combo platter of anxiety attacks and imposter syndrome. Given that they're ambitious and functioning well at work, I present to them that their disclosures are risky. No surprise, the first card in the tarot deck is The Fool.    The message of The Fool card is to calculate carefully each and every risk. Sure, in some circles of society there is lot of interest in mental illness. Empathy too.  But I also hammer: "For the snippets of attention you receive and what may seem like compassion, you could be trading off credibility. Advancement on the job. Probability of being hired after a layoff." Therapyspea...

So Damn Lucky!

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  Folks don't come for a tarot-card reading because everything is great. No, they're troubled. Most of the time it's because they feel they have been shut out from life's goodies. And so I get to study why their wheel of fortune is moving in the wrong direction. That is, they're not lucky. What I have found is that, sure, some luck is a given. That goes by the crude phrase "the lucky sperm club."  Because your father was ABC and not XYZ you have access to the advantages of the upper classes, including healthy nutrition, braces for that bright smile, enlightened medical care, decent education, coaching in presentation of self and a gold-plated network. However, as we bear witness with the Reiner family that doesn't necessarily play out as expected. More dependable and actually an entity you create is what's known as "encounter luck."  That entails setting yourself up to be, well, lucky. In the 2005 Woody Allen film "Match Point" ...

Sex Dolls - The Perfect Non-Social Relationship

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In the $6.6 billion global sex doll industry you can customize your purchase to be the perfect fit for your needs. Yes, the perfect face, the perfect body, the perfect personality traits. On Doll Forum   you can research your options. And, if your notions of what's ideal change, there is a brisk sales/trade-in market.  Obviously, this growing sector is a sign of our post-social times. Atrophying are the skills required to have a committed human love relationship.  No, those were never easy. In the tarot those obstacles are represented by The Lovers card.  Notice right away that there's a disconnect. The curse of being separate kicks in at birth. To the left is the bad-guy snake, always up to stirring up trouble in relationships. The water, which symbolizes emotion, is turbulent. As the dramas of William Shakespeare hammer, the course of true love never runs smooth. So, why even bother?  In the 21st century, as The Atlantic documents, it's become acceptable to...

Old-Fashioned Trait Could Land You a Job

  The term is coming back.  Yes, Forbes  explicitly tells job searchers "character" gives them the edge in getting hired. That can override the usual credentials on your resume.  More often, though, what we Boomers used to refer to as "character" goes by labels, documents the Express Employment Professionals - Harris poll  such as: Reliability Honesty  Self-motivation Adaptability. Okay then, how do hiring managers screen you for those traits?  Well, it likely won't be within the formal interview process. Most often they pick up if you have character in: How you treat administrative personnel at their workplace. That goes back to the culture fundamental of interacting with the boss' assistants with deference.  What comes out in small talk. What do you really care about? Instead of framing the data center issue in your community in abstractions, you show concern for the electric/water bills of those living there. You're protective of animals. ...

Retiring & Relocating: Can You Break In Socially?

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  Almost 40% of you will relocate when you retire. Given longevity, you might then  move multiple times , even every five years. As a tarot reader I hear all too often from disappointed retirees that what drives that second or third relocation is not a budget issue. No, it's soul-sickness. You are unable to break in socially.  So, I guide clients to explore before the move how resistant a community might be in allowing newcomers "in." By "in," I mean having a shot at close friendships. There is the familiar dynamic: So and so are friendly, polite. But those conversations in the grocery store or at the gym never lead to an invitation to have a drink or a cup of coffee.  That's usually because in that community what count are the bonds formed over the years. They begin in grade school. The groups have bulging collective memory banks. How to find out, before you move, the openness of the residents? Chat bots will be straight with you. Describe yourself. For ex...

Luigi Mangione: Beyond What English Teachers Taught Us About Symbolism

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  "So what does Penelope symbolize in 'The Odyssey.'"  That lesson in an infinite number of English courses was really about how, along the evolutionary path, the human species came to see the world through a prism of meaning. Entities and events weren't stand-alones. They represented an abstraction.  Philosopher Ernst Cassirer gave us an erudite summary of that transformational process. In "A Clue to the Nature of Man: the symbol," he explains: "No longer in a merely physical universe, man lives in a symbolic universe. Language, myth, art, and religion are parts of this universe." And that seems to be the universe in which Luigi Mangione operated. The Wall Street Journal reports on the content of his notebooks: "One entry said 'the target is insurance' because it checks every box,' and another described an intent to 'wack' an insurance chief executive at the investor conference ..." Recently, as the world knows...

The Dirty Little Secret about Support Groups: And, Why We Stop Going

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  "Those five months going to XYZ support group lifted my clinical depression." That's what a client for a tarot reading told me. The World Card had come up, considered by some to be the best card in the deck. But what drove that improvement was not what is usually given as a benefit of support groups. What the client got out of it was weekly evidence that they had a lot more going for them than most of the other members. For example, despite some reversals in their investments and the loss of a few accounts, they were not in debt. Or homeless. Or on the verge of losing their home. Obviously, what was going on was the adage: Count your blessings. Eventually the power of the attitude of gratitude also woke them up to the realization that they could be doing lots more with their time than "listening to all those sad stories." They quit the group.  Of course, this whole mindset has been kept under wraps. The code of the support group is peer interaction. We are all...