Toxic Positivity - Worst Kind of Emotional Bullying

 "I was reeling. I had just been laid off. Yes, early that morning. Never saw it coming. And, that evening, a few in my 12-step group congratulated me. Said that now I could now begin a new journey."

A client shared that trauma during an emergency tarot-reading session. 

This horror is not atypical. Not in 2025. 

More and more organizations which are billed as anything from vibration-raising to support pile on various forms of toxic positivity. Essentially the message is: View things optimistically or else. The group doesn't tolerate any shade of inner darkness. And it gets off the hook on having to provide authentic empathy.

Toxic positivity is the worst kind of emotional bullying because it's imposed on people going through flashpoints in their life. 



I have a hunch: This harsh push onto the sunny side of the street might be becoming an epidemic because human beings are unable to get their heads around the new order of things. That extreme shift extends from knowledge work becoming a commodity therefore increasingly unmarketable to relationships being unable to hold on during such long lifespans to being unable to afford food that doesn't destroy your health.  

Because they themselves can't handle this unraveling of what used to be, they take flight into platitudes. The most used cliche has to do with the mandate to look at the silver lining in the adversity. 

Research has proven out the dangers to mental health of enforced optimism. Among the chilling impacts is:

" ... the increased feelings of guilt and shame that can arise when individuals are unable to maintain the expected level of positivity. This can lead to a vicious cycle where people feel bad about feeling bad, further exacerbating their negative emotions."

Part of being human is experiencing a broad range of emotions. Lost a job? Of course, you will grieve. Even if you luck out and land a much better position, there had been plenty of pain. That pain had to be processed. Not waved away as wrong thinking.

Given the harm inflicted by toxic positivity those with legal training might consider legal action against such supposed helper organizations. 

Thriving in crazy times starts from the inside.

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For confidential complimentary consultation please contact Jane Genova at 203-468-8579 (text, voice)  or janegenova374@gmail.com.


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