Not Even Trying: A Generation That May Never Grow Up

"All he wants to do is play soccer and hang out with his friends. He needs to get a better job." 

Versions of that is what I am hearing more and more in tarot readings from one party in a relationship about the other. The "other" is usually a male. But they can be a female. In addition, I'm hearing this sort of thing from parents of teenage children who can't attach to goals such as succeeding in academics or music or sports.  

None of these are even trying. 

This week The Wall Street Journal refers to that as the inability to grow up. And it assesses it as a generational problem. 

Young people aren't taking on the traditional responsibilities of adulthood: building a career, settling into a stable relationship, becoming a respected citizen in a community. Essentially they have big ideas about what the American Dream should be and they have little or no hope of reaching it. Specifically, notes WSJ:

"A sizable share of this generation is worse-off than their parents were. Young men in particular are struggling in the labor market. And some of the traditional goals of adulthood really have become more difficult to achieve. Student debt has more than doubled over the past two decades, yet a college degree is no guarantee of a well-paying job." 

This topic, though, isn't new. For years psychologists have analyzed the "failure to launch," labeling it the "Peter Pan" complex. In Psychology Today, Marty Nemko Ph.D. boils it down to the unwillingness to invest themselves in achieving realistic goals. Instead they have pipe dreams. That leads, of course, to failure, which sucks off even more motivation.

In my experience what can jolt a growth spurt is the return of hope. 

"Find out what's important to them."

That's what I recommend. It could be wealth, the reach of an influencer, a great body. Then, encourage the first few small steps. Stick with emotionally supporting them. That includes deep discussions about lessons being learned. Celebrate the learning. That deters giving up. There's the old adage: Nothing succeeds like success. 

Jane Genova * Tarot Card Reader * Intuitive Coach * Medium.

Success Starts From Within

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