Maladaptive Perfectionism - An Extreme Shortage of Self-Love

 "You developed a protective strategy commonly known as perfectionism, which means you organize your life around avoiding contact with any potential indications of being inadequate, defective, or unlovable." - In the Chapter "Nine of Cups" in 2021 book TAROT FOR CHANGE by Jessica Dore.

Some employers may embrace perfectionists. They're the ones who are locked into compulsive work habits. When others have signed off for the day they are still at it.

But those who care about you see the dark side of the striving to be perfect. In a letter to Law.com, the widow of law firm suicide Gabe MacConaill - Joanna Litt - blamed the death on maladaptive perfectionism. He not only took on all the tasks of his tough job. He was determined to do every bit perfectly.

 Litt has an interesting observation. In the letter she notes:

"Maladaptive perfectionists lack self-compassion.' 

Likely MacConaill couldn't admit to himself - never mind his superiors or clients or the summers he was responsible for - that the "it all" was getting to be too much.

That drive to do everything just right (and seemingly effortlessly since you don't want them to see you sweat), along with no capacity for self-compassion, could explain so much baffling behavior among high achievers. 

I encounter it all too often when providing Tarot readings. The Nine of Cups gets pulled. In April 2021 The New York Times saluted the Tarot as a tool for self-awareness and introspection.

As a Tarot reader I have that lens for interpreting behavior. So, I wonder how many who make it to an unusually high perch in their profession could fill the specs for perfectionism. And then suffer in unexpected ways from that pattern.

Perhaps the survival meme for 2023 is for strivers to accept their humanity. That means not even hoping to be perfect.

 Tarot Card Reader. Medium. Intuitive Career Coach.

No-pressure complimentary consultation about what you want. Then, fees custom-made for your budget.

For an appointment, please contact janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

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