America's Epidemic of Self-Hate: Self-Deprecating Humor Plays into That

 "My self deprecating humor can sometimes be self put downs. It’s unnecessary. Example: 'What do you do for work? Oh, I’m just a PPT monkey.' How do you make sure you’re being humble but also confident in your abilities?" - Post on Fishbowl Consulting, February 2023. Here is the thread.

At this time when we are in a state of extreme economic angst it is wise to steer clear of injecting satire about yourself. Your objective may be to sidestep coming across as arrogant. The outcome, though, could be to tarnish your personal brand. Your negative self-assessment can be taken literally.

To begin with, humor in itself always involves risk. A major reason why is that the comic is subjective. One person's funny can be offensive to another. Or t just does not seem to make any sense.

Most schools of public relations warn about the ambiguity. Not that a professional interaction has to be heavy. But it could avoid misunderstandings if it doesn't play around with fact-based forms of rhetoric positioned and packaged in an engaging way. Elevator speeches transmit data in a conversational manner.

When it comes to self-deprecating humor here could be the brutal reality: It introduces an opening for listeners to agree with you. Yes, you are simply a PPT monkey. And that will be that. 

Your professional identity hardens into a less-than. In my coaching sessions and Tarot card readings I warn clients about those perils. In addition I add: You're not on the entertainment committee. Leave that to the professional comics. 

There are myriad other ways to present yourself as appropriately right-sized. For example, if asked what you do for work, you can respond: 

"I'm blessed to be part of an amazing team in social media at marketing agency XYZ."

Or, "When I graduate (there may or may not be a branding reason to mention Harvard) I hope I will create value in generative AI." 

Those whose success has been sustainable develop signature ways to avoid being labeled "arrogant." That's how they create the likability aura. But they know better than to make themselves the butt of their own joking. 

For instance, as you note in this interview with Leaders Magazine," chair of Paul Weiss law firm Brad Karp frames the discussion in "we" and "our" language. The star of the article is the organization's culture, dating back to its founding. No, this executive doesn't suck up all the oxygen in the room. Yes, we kind of like him.

Of course, there will always be gallows humor. That's leveraged during disasters. That's the genre. It doesn't fit the category of self-deprecating humor. An example? The stock market collapses. The traders tell the media, "We're heading up to the roof." They say that with a smirk. 

Takeaway: In America, as the Dalai Lama picked up, there is an epidemic of self-hate. Self-deprecating humor feeds into that.

Tarot Card Reader. Medium. Intuitive Career Coach.

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