Why Human Beings Do the Things They Do: Maybe Bryan Kohbeger Doesn't Know

 Those hoping to find out the "motivation" for the four murders committed by Bryan Kohberger might had been watching too many sophisticated crime shows like "Criminal Minds." In them the fictional profilers uncover what has driven the aberrant behavior. 

But in real life, as in the horrific activity by the Idaho killer, the wrongdoers might not even know themselves why they did what they did. In addition, they may be playing with the interviewers, not telling the truth about the dynamics of their inner lives. Or they may be delivering the narrative which they hope will lessen the penalty. Defense lawyers tend to enable that. Remember all the psychobabble of the 1970s. Everyone was put on the couch to be analyzed. 

So much of the thinking about motivation is smug guessing. Human beings are complex entities. Sure, there are supposed clues from what went on in the family of origin, genetic makeup and life experiences. But most of the attempts to connect the dots is really just force-fitting the data into a pattern that provides what seem like answers. In America we're not comfortable with ambiguity.

In tarot readings, clients in pain about relationships often ask me to interpret the motivation of the partners who they claim are triggering such distress. Why are they doing this to me, they want to know? I admit that whole enchilada is filled with unknows. More useful, I tell them, is deciding the impact of the lovers' behavior on them and then assessing if they want to handle it - and, more to the point, can they. I warn: Many human beings can't or won't change. 

Of course, society wants to prevent the "Next Bryan Kohberger." There will be the ongoing analysis of the total gestalt. However, currently much of that is speculative. 

Takeaway: Instead of chasing what's motivating others' behavior, focus on how your own can reduce the negative impacts on you. 

Thriving in difficult times starts from the inside.

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